Learning to Like Yourself: 5 Ways to Increase Self-Esteem by Georgia Pollard

Can you remember the last time someone complimented you? What was your reaction? Often when someone says something nice to us, we tend to disregard that positive statement as being exaggerated or untrue. Maybe they are just being polite, or perhaps they don’t know all the facts. It seems to be socially accepted to downgrade your own achievements and successes, while at the same time praise your friends and family for theirs!

Self-deprecating thoughts and behaviour are often associated with low self-esteem and poor mental health outcomes. Low self-esteem is a symptom shared by many mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression, although you can experience this without a clinical diagnosis. It is such a prevailing concept that psychologists have sought to understand the mechanisms of self-esteem for over 200 hundred years. Higher self-esteem is often synonymous with resilience, positivity, reduced stress, and life satisfaction. Research suggests that improving self-esteem is a good thing for mental health.

It is often found that self-esteem is linked to early childhood experiences. Trauma and maltreatment can often lead to lower self-esteem later in life. However, self-esteem has been shown to be improved with interventions and can act as a protective factor for distress. Although life experiences can contribute to vulnerabilities, it is possible to improve self-esteem and your own mental health. 

Here are 5 ways you can start to increase your self-esteem:

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion describes an attitude of acceptance to suffering, while at the same time showing kindness to yourself. While some people are naturally more self-compassionate, it is also a skill that can be taught. Self-compassion helps us tolerate uncomfortable and distressing emotions and decreases our avoidant behaviour. This means that we are more likely to persist through challenges and resolve conflicts that come our way. Practicing self-compassion means being less self-critical and judgemental, and appreciating your feelings as being common with others. These are all factors that contribute to healthy self-esteem and psychological wellbeing.

Get a hobby!

Research suggests that finding passions keeps us positive! Doing something you enjoy builds positive experiences towards yourself. It increases confidence by building your identity capital and making opportunities to connect with others. And you don’t have to be good at something to experience these benefits. Learning and acquiring new skills has been shown to boost our feelings of competence, achievement, and self-esteem.

Take care of your body

It is really important to nourish your body with good food and movement. This may look different to everyone: from sports to strength training, walking, horse riding and yoga, finding ways to move our body increases production of our happy hormones and thereby increases feelings of connectedness, confidence, and relaxation! Eating well and being physical can contribute to overall body satisfaction, which also has a strong relationship with self-esteem.

Set boundaries with social media

Researchers have consistently connected poor self-esteem with social media use. But in this world of influencing and online business, your whole livelihood may be intertwined with the online environment, and that’s okay! We can combat the harmful effects of social media by setting time limits, making more thoughtful choices about the groups we are part of, and being more active when we are online, meaning engage with the accounts you follow instead of mindlessly consuming. If you can focus on connecting through social media rather than just consuming, you can feel less isolated and more fulfilled. Take an emotional inventory after social media use. This may inform any necessary adjustments you need to take to create an atmosphere of connectedness rather than isolation. 

Get therapy

Research has shown that therapeutic interventions can increase positive self-esteem. Psychologists can help you put into practice strategies for increasing confidence such as self-compassion, cognitive reappraisal, and exposure therapy. Talking with a psychologist is a great way to support your journey to a more confident you. 

Although it can feel like self-esteem is weighing you down, it is possible to make simple inroads that can support your feelings of confidence and self-worth. Experimenting with different strategies and approaching the task with curiosity are the important first steps on the road to creating a joyful and more confident life. 

References

Inwood, E., & Ferrari, M. (2018). Mechanisms of Change in the Relationship between Self-Compassion, Emotion Regulation, and Mental Health: A Systematic Review. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 10(2), 215-235. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12127 

Iso-Ahola, S. E., La Verde, D., & Graefe, A. R. (1989). Perceived Competence as a Mediator of the Relationship Between High Risk Sports Participation and Self-Esteem. Journal of Leisure Research, 21(1), 32-39. https://doi.org/10.1080/00222216.1989.11969788 

Kolubinski, D. C., Frings, D., Nikčević, A. V., Lawrence, J. A., & Spada, M. M. (2018). A systematic review and meta-analysis of CBT interventions based on the Fennell model of low self-esteem. Psychiatry Research, 267, 296-305. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2018.06.025 

Macbeth, A., & Gumley, A. (2012). Exploring compassion: A meta-analysis of the association between self-compassion and psychopathology. Clinical Psychology Review, 32(6), 545-552. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003